im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
