i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
