I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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