You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
