While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
