laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
