today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize