and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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