The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did I show you my penis last night?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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