i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
