Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate all girls vehemently.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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