You really coming over, don't trick.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
