You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
