brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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