I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
