Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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