4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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