OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
