I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't deserve a penis
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
