I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
