I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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