youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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