I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
