There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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