Kiss
Puke
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
