I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize