me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
