I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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