'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
