i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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