Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
