Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
