Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize