I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
