im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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