i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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