everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
