Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

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(863): View more from Florida

I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.

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(917): View more from New York City

WISH UPON A TAMPON

(718): View more from New York

They constantly get farther than me.

(718): View more from New York

tampons.

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(217): View more from Illinois

just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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(219): View more from Indiana

U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"

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(646): View more from New York

Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit

(646): View more from New York

The facepaint not the blacking out

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.

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(123): View more from

It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...

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