apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize