? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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