Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
