I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
