what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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