I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
