Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
