Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
