Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation