My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
