I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize