im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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