ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
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we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
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If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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