She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
