Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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