so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
