Fuck appropriateness.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
