I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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