In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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