dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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