Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
