It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
