do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
