this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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