I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
